Say it loud and proud: I'm shallow!

We’ve all heard that Beauty and the Beast story before. Whether it’s the Disney film (with the singing teacups and talking chandeliers) or a real life fairytale, we've always commended and congratulated those who can see beyond another person’s physical flaws. It's true love, so pure and so untainted. We admire those who understand inner beauty, and see beyond trivial things such as attractiveness.

This explains our outcry over the opposite phenomenon—people who blatantly value physical attractiveness over other traits. For example, the men who only date models. Or barely-legal teenagers. Or models who are barely-legal teenagers. But even in everyday life, we are upset when we see obvious displays of people preferring more attractive people in many respects, whether it's an employer at work ultimately choosing the more attractive interviewee, or a waiter being more polite to a pretty girl than her ordinary looking friend.“They’re so shallow,” we’ll mutter bitterly. “Don’t they know people can be beautiful on the inside?” With our furtive glances and sharp whispers, it's judgment day.

Hence the recent backlash at the Chinese man who divorced his wife and then sued her for being ugly. A few weeks ago, a Chinese man was distressed to find out his newborn daughter was, to put it mildly, not as attractive as he thought she would be. She looked like neither him, nor his wife. At first, he jumped to the conclusion that his wife had been unfaithful. Perhaps he's never heard of the Ugly Duckling (aren't all babies born kind of wrinkly anyway?). After great hesitation, his wife reluctantly admitted that she had spent hundreds of thousands on plastic surgery before meeting him, resulting in her much-improved exterior. Alas, with this great relevation solves the ultimate mystery of where the baby's genes came from. The husband subsequently divorced her, and then sued her for deception.

That seems outrageous. Supposedly he didn’t marry her just for those round, lovable eyes and those plump lips. Or that thick cascade of hair. He should love her, inside and out. Forever and always. Until death do them part. Why does it matter then, that she's had her whole face reconstructed? It's the inner beauty that matters, isn't it? Here we voice our strong condemnation, even disgust. How could his love have been so superficial?

Photo courtesy of Weibo.

But here's a shocker for you – human beings are shallow. We are superficial creatures. As much as we want to believe that looks don't matter, we do judge a book by its cover. Every one of us. 

We associate beauty with positive traits. Therefore, we have a generally biased and preconceived notion about beautiful people. We think they're funnier, friendlier, and more intelligent. They're more exciting, have better social skills and are more interesting and poised.

These particular attitudes are thus reflected in our actions. Attractive people receive all kinds of benefits. They may get higher starting salaries, perhaps because their qualifications are perceived as more solid, giving them an overall greater potential. Then, later on, they have an advantage in promotions. In fact, statistics indicate that the women who advance the most at work are more attractive, thinner, taller and younger-looking than their female colleagues. These are only a few studies out of thousands that basically re-emphasize the same sad truth: we're shallow creatures.

Perhaps you think we've been conditioned to value beauty. You're thinking, society is crue. We've just been taught to associate and treat beautiful people better! Your thinking is wrong. Even infants from 2 to 6 months of age prefer to look longer at faces rated as attractive by adults than at faces rated as unattractive by adults. Essentially, babies can already tell who is attractive and who is unattractive. They pay attention to the better-looking people, just like we do.

It is evolutionarily adaptive of us to be shallow. Men prefer beautiful women so they can have beautiful offspring to carry on their beautiful genes. Thus, the trophy wives. Women, on the other hand, value beauty in terms of height because this normally indicates strength (and therefore the ability to provide). Basically, being shallow is natural.

So next time you judge someone and accuse him or her of being shallow, remember that you behave in ways that are favorable towards attractive people too, almost on a daily basis. Let's blame evolution, let's blame the unbelievably high standards of beauty that exist in the world, let's blame the sensory glands that link to your pupils or corneas or something. But give that Chinese man a break, will ya? Perhaps it was a little overboard for him to have sued his wife for compensatory damages, but say it with me guys: we're all shallow! And there's nothing wrong with that.

Aw, come on. Look at that little cutie!